Thursday, December 10, 2009
♥
Sometimes when people are talking about the brilliance of certain created works such as a movie or a book, I often ended up feeling indifferent especially after listening to their personal interpretations and understandings. The story told, the meanings intended, the interconnectedness of the real world in relation to the seemingly unbelievable plot, the little subtleties in the way the movie was unfold and the unexpected angle in which they story was portrayed... All these seem to amaze the more intelligent crowds. But nothing really surprises me. The whole picture appear to be so clear to me because the only way I look at things is the interconnectedness between each and every little element. The knowledge can be acquired. The so called subtleties are absolutely obvious to me because of my sensitivity. And yet, I think I am often mistaken as someone who fail to analyse things in greater depth but in fact it takes me little efforts to pierce through, analyse and even rearrange internally in a bid to accept a foreign concept. After all we are all different and the way we understand certain things are all varied. I often tell my friends who argue with me not to make a judgement because there is a possibility that every perspective is correct or wrong in different context. You may not accept my point of view but it is too naiive to make an absolute judgement. And the movies was indeed brilliant because it takes far more efforts to create than to appreciate. It takes the director may be years to ensure the flow and smoothness of the plot as well as the resultant effects and expectations. My point is, don't judge me for the wrong reason.
- 8:19 PM
Y
Monday, December 7, 2009
♥
Lionel's birthday yacht party
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A lot of things happened recently. I'm too tired to write anything. I will write something later.
- 8:32 AM
Y
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
♥
Fucking busy. I can't see myself carry on like this in the long term. I think I will die of exhaustion. He said," Welcome to the working world baby". Yes here I am, carrying the heavy burden of responsibility of managing an entire company and the need to earn respects from all the staffs. It's no joke. I'm exhausted mentally and physically in the process of learning. I am destined to lead a life not for myself. How pathetic... So what if I have all the money but not a life for myself. Because I am the only child. Because I love them more than myself.
- 3:44 AM
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Sunday, November 29, 2009
♥
I learnt something by heart from you. Stay truthful to love, to friendships and to life...
- 9:33 AM
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- 8:58 AM
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Saturday, November 14, 2009
♥
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It's fading... My faith in you.
- 2:47 AM
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- 9:54 AM
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Thursday, October 29, 2009
♥
Lady Love~~ Don't stare just envy
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I love my two ladies... Katherine and Joey
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- 11:04 AM
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Monday, October 19, 2009
♥
I'll burn all the notes away once I'm done.
- 6:10 AM
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Friday, October 16, 2009
♥
Parties are forever, exams are only once! remember this Rayne!
- 2:18 AM
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Tuesday, October 13, 2009
♥
Cozy gathering at friend's place
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View from the rooftop. Iron in the background.
Time flies. Some years have passed in a blink of eyes. Everything has changed and yet nothing is different. In the midst of helicoidal flow, I can't quite stand still fighting against the overwhelming force. We all have grown up.
- 8:20 AM
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Friday, October 9, 2009
♥
Today was hilarious. I was chased out of the lecture hall because I insisted to go to school and take a mock test even though I had a flu. The lesson learnt was that I should be more social conscious and more thoughtful next time. But you know, when a person is sick and feeling weak, such experience can be very unpleasant. If I were Miss J I would persuade the student to go home and rest and make sure her feeling was taken care of. But no, I was condemned and literally chased out of the lecture hall. I felt sad for a few mins and then I started to feel good because I suddenly remember tomorrow is saturday :) Bipolar disorder anyone? Then I decided to carry my Baby and go out to buy Bubble Tea. I feel really glad because I can actually sit here and reflect about my changes in the way I deal with my own emotions. If it was 5 years ago I might probably end up crying. As I grow older, I feel more comfortable with myself and care less about other's opinions and judgements. Coz I know exactly who I really am and this self-realization makes me feel more confident as each day pass by. Ah... shit I just can't love myself a little less haha. Anyway~~ The point is: we should always care more about other's feelings because we all want to immerse in a loving and harmonious environment, don't we?
- 12:57 AM
Y
Monday, October 5, 2009
♥
After each downfall there comes the hope. Strangely almost all my downfalls only lasted for a short period of time and the rest is all blessing and self-mockery for my indulgence in pain and struggle. You have no idea what a strong girl I am. Perhaps, you are the one who gives me all the strengths and energy. Dancing in the rain... Isn't that what Rayne stands for? Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind. There is no way for a life filled with only peace and happiness. Yes, we all need some challenges and excitements. Don't we? And we all had some sentimental and emotional moments in life which contribute to a more romantic and poetic mind and soul. Right? If I had never gone through so much in life, I could never develop a well-rounded view about this world and I could never lead such a fulfilling life like what I am having now. And lastly, honey don't use online translator to translate my writting in Chinese. I've tried a few and none of the translation expresses and represents my original sentiments and feelings. PS. You have made my day :)
`
- 1:10 AM
Y
Friday, October 2, 2009
♥
There are so many obstacles and difficulties in life some times. No one is going to care or help you unless you take care of yourself. Rayne, be strong. Be a strong girl. Hide the tears in your heart coz no one is going to pity you even if you cry aloud. Put on a big smile and carry on living. Happiness will come to you again.
- 9:26 AM
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Sunday, September 27, 2009
♥
If 21 December 2012 is really the doomsday, what do u really care from now onwards? I would spend the rest of my time with the ones I love. My mum, my dad, my grandparents, and hopefully my loved man, my best friends... who cares about the fucking school, fucking careers, fucking fame and fucking money. But unfortunately I believe the doomsday is not going to happen. A new- age interpretation of this transition posits that, during this time, the planet and its inhabitants may undergo a positive physical or spiritual transformation, and that 2012 may mark the beginning of a new era. Which means I shouldn't blog now. I should go back to do some more essays ;_;
- 9:18 AM
Y
♥
Baby it's F1 season+ After prelims. Forgive me for partying away the entire weekends.
lovely food @ House. Dempsey
The end
- 3:18 AM
Y
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
♥
Does God really exist
`
Professor: I'll prove to you, if God exists, then he is evil.
Did God created everything that exists?
If God created everything
then he created evil.
which means God is evil.
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young boy: Excuse me professor. Does cold exist?
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Professor: What kind of question is this, of course it exists.
Have you never been cold?
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young boy: In fact sir, cold does not exist
According to the law of physics, what we consider the cold
is in reality the absence of heat.
Professor, does darkness exist?
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Professor: Of course it does.
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young Boy: You are wrong sir,
darkness does not exist either
darkness is in reality the absence of light
light we can study, but not darkness
Evil does not exist just like darkness and cold
God did not create evil
Evil is the result of what happens
when man does not have God's love
present in his heart.
`
The young boy is Albert Einstein. It's truely thought provoking. Think about this.
- 8:39 AM
Y
Saturday, September 19, 2009
♥
Parties are forever. Exams are only once. remember this Rayne.
- 10:36 AM
Y
♥
Another crazy friday with friends...
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Moved to Butter
Eeeeeeww! Look at the decor!
As you have noticed, I repeated wearing this dress. Yes I know I said I hate repeating dress.. But I really don't have the time and energy to do more proper shoppings nowadays. It's freaking annoying when I was being pushed around by so many people in the super packed Butter. I didn't really enjoyed myself very much in Butter factory. In fact I never did. Just like what Phil said," Why people want to be VIPs? It's because of exclusiveness. Exclusiveness for SPACE." Look at what was that! VIP area was even more packed and people can't even walk! We were so pissed off so we abandoned the place and moved to somewhere more spacious instead. Next week is going to be a F1 week. Can't wait for Saturday to come :p
- 10:04 AM
Y
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
♥
Late night racing and Chillax at Marina Barrage!
`
I've been locking myself at home for 3 days and it's time to take a break and chill out and relax:) I enjoyed the view, the wind and the thrill when the car was going really fast and my hair was flying all around. I put my hands high up and cheered and laughed coz I loved the sensation of the strong wind that forced my hands backward. I love the sound of the engine. I love the splendid view around me. Hum... One more year to go before I get my own convertible toy :) Big Grin*
And one more thing, I'm going to race in a race track in Malaysia after my A's! Yoohoo! There are so many things I want to do after my A's. Can't wait for my holiday to come.
- 10:00 AM
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- 9:26 AM
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Friday, September 4, 2009
♥
For almost 20 years I met so many friends and only so little of them mean so much to me. And you are one of them :)
- 10:20 AM
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Friday, August 28, 2009
♥
Sometimes I wonder... What would I be if I am a normal 19 year old kid who still lives in a world of her own fantasyland, knows little about the immense world outside, and believes everything she sees with her own eyes, never go through the process of extreme psychological and emotional struggle which lead to a revolutionary change in her character and faith, and the process of refinement and even the sublimation of will and moral guidelines.
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Sometimes I wonder... What would I be if I am like everybody else? Would I be happier?
A sudden feeling of loss...
- 8:57 AM
Y
Thursday, August 27, 2009
♥
sunset...
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It's said the average human has 100,000 heartbeats a day. I may not have more of them than anyone else, but each one is powered by purpose. Life is beautiful. There are so many things await me to explore. But I'll always remember the simple moments like this which brought me so much joy and peace.
- 9:00 AM
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- 9:47 AM
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Friday, August 14, 2009
♥
Poetry of Departure by Philip Larkin
`
Sometimes you hear, fifth-hand.
An epitaph:
He chucked up everything
And always the voice will sound
Certain you approve
This audacious, purifying,
Elemental move.
`
And they are right, I think.
We all hate home
And having to be there:
I detest my room,
it's especially-chosen junk,
The good books, the good bed,
And my life, in perfect order:
So to hear it said
`
He walked out on the whole crowd
Leaves me flushed and stirred,
Like Then she undid her dress
Or take that you bastard;
Surely I can, if he did?
And that helps me to stay
Sober and industrious.
But I'd go today,
`
Yes, swagger the nut-strewn roads,
Crouch in the forecastle
Stubbly with goodness, if
it waren't so artificial,
Such a deliberate step backwards
To create an object:
Books, china, a life
Reprehensively perfect.
`
I love and hate this poem at the same time. I love it because it reflects so much about my own ambition of walking out of my comfort zone and see the world. I hate it because it painfully reminds me about my inconsistency and the fact that I am conditioned to be stuck in a 'perfect life'. What a life. So much of responsibilities that I have to bear for others... si seulement je pouvais.
`
Dieu, s'il vous plaît grand-moi la sérénité d'accepter les choses que je ne peux changer, le courage de changer les choses que je peux et la sagesse de connaître la différence...
- 10:22 AM
Y
♥
Hi guys, this is just an appetiser... Can u believe it?
- 9:25 AM
Y
Sunday, August 9, 2009
♥
Tuesday with Mike+ Friday night out+ Saturday Rin's Birthday dinner`
- 10:50 AM
Y
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
♥
I had just done a bit shopping in Ion
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been partying...
My car ran out of battery coz I forgot to switch off the light. And friends came to rescue me...
Yes yes I know I look realy kiddy with my school uniform haha...
- 9:56 AM
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- 9:17 AM
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- 10:06 PM
Y
Thursday, July 9, 2009
♥
My little prince~~
Sorry for my inconsistency. I shall blog still.
- 5:35 AM
Y
Saturday, July 4, 2009
♥
There are always changes in one's life journey. Though we may
`
not be able to adapt well to the changes initially but we have to
`
move on no matter what. It's time for me to stop blogging for
`
awhile untill I sort everything out and get used to my new life.
`
So friends, please ignore my blog for a few months.
`
PS:Please take care of yourself. I love you.
- 6:42 PM
Y
Sunday, June 28, 2009
♥
I just had a terrible terrible dream! I dreant about a humongous celestial body hit the earth and I saw it afar and the impact could be felt immediately when he whole earth rumbled and trembled. I also dreamt about a lot of other things in relation to my biggest fear in life. This is what a person becomes when she never study properly before a major test. Too much tension and stress make me feel like exploding anytime. And one more thing, I get constipation right before my mid year common test. Agh! It's not that I didn't try hard. But when Mind became rebellious and Sense couldn't control it, the entire nervous system crashed. So I'm a bit crazy right now, better don't mess with me.
- 2:12 AM
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- 8:17 AM
Y
Monday, June 22, 2009
♥
Zouk Part II - Happy Birthday Joey Babe~~
Roy!! Ur face was soooo flushed!! heheh...
- 7:39 AM
Y
- 2:06 AM
Y
Friday, June 19, 2009
♥
Czeslaw Milosz - Love
`
Love means to learn to look at yourself
The way one looks at distant things
For you are only one thing among many.
And whoever sees that way heals his heart,
Without knowing it, from various ills—
A bird and a tree say to him: Friend.
`
Then he wants to use himself and things
So that they stand in the glow of ripeness.
It doesn’t matter whether he knows what he serves:
Who serves best doesn’t always understand.
`
It's lovely, isn't it? It's been years since I found out this poem and I thought it was so beautifully written so I kept it in my little notebook. I've always been trying to lead a life like what the poem says but still, I'm materialistic and egocentric. But at least it's a goal I have set for myself and I'm improving bits by bits.
- 12:54 AM
Y
Saturday, June 13, 2009
♥
Unconditional trust is the basis for all relationships and that's what I failed to learn for all these years. Fortunately, someone put the words in my head and caused such a stir in my heart.
- 9:56 PM
Y
Thursday, June 11, 2009
♥
I want to be extricated from all these but I know there will be more guilt than pleasure.
- 1:40 AM
Y
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
♥
As I could contain myself no more, I finally decided to vent out whatever I'm feeling now. Gush. It's excruciating. I lied down on the floor in the afternoon, Baby curiously moved over and stepped on my face again. So I crawled under my parents bed and hoped I could stay there for a little longer and then I saw a bloody spider... Okay I finally moved back to my study room and looked at Maclaurin's Serious. Then I felt a tremble over my shoulder. I was so sick of all the notes in front of me... Agh! I'm just back home after all the fun and end up feeling guilty right now, in my study room, blogging.
- 7:54 AM
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- 9:35 PM
Y
Friday, May 29, 2009
♥
I'm going to win. I'm going to win this battle no matter what.
- 10:09 PM
Y
♥
Yoo hoo! Last Day of school! It's holiday!
Just had my hair done...
My hair looks stiff and too curly because they styled my hair before I leave. It's going to be soft and romantic curls after my first wash... But guess what, I can only wash my hair after two days!! I refuse to step out of my house at all before I can wash it!
- 9:15 PM
Y
Thursday, May 28, 2009
♥
There is no time for peace and comfort. It is the time to dare and endure... And this is what I learnt today.
- 4:16 AM
Y
Monday, May 25, 2009
♥
There are always events in life that make me re-evaluate myself. At least I know I'm still thankful to everything I have now. Nobody taught me this before but I've learnt it all by heart since very long time ago. Today Mr Toh commented in his econs class, "who's driving a Mitsubishi nowadays?" And everybody took it as a joke and laughed at me coz I'm driving one. Well, this Mitsubishi Lancer is a love gift from my mum and I ought to cherish it with all my heart. I am very thankful to mum for everything she has given me. I count it as a privilege for me to own a car at such an age. Luckily I still have a conscience.
- 3:53 AM
Y
Saturday, May 23, 2009
♥
Today I watched the movie 'Angels and Demons'. I always thought as long as I believe in certain things, I don't have to care whether they are true or not. This time I have to confess that sometimes I hate it when I keep on questioning myself but can't get an answer. Does God or any other forms of God really exist? I used to go church, I used to pray and sing Christian songs, I used to study bibles but nothing could convince me fully that God really exists. The main message of the movie is that science and religion can co-exist with each other. But in reality, there are too many conflicts and contradictions between science and religion. `
There are people who claim themselves fully committed to their religion and they study all kinds of religion related reference materials, but they don't seem being any better or kinder than people who do not have a religion. I infer that this is due to the fact that they are not convinced fully about their religion so that they don't follow faithfully. Each is driven by his or her own motives. What motives? You want to feel good about yourself and have a moral guidance so that you won't feel lost and confused. You want to have something to lean on when you worry and fear. You want to believe in this illusion that you are morally superior than the rest. You want people to believe that you are a good person because you are committed to your religion... Or you simply want to be a better person.
`
Of course my opinions here are biased because I'm utterly disappointed by many people who claim themselves faithful to their religion but they fail to prove action wise. Just like what the Pope says in the movie "Men are flawed not religion", religion itself seems too innocent in this matter. What if religions were created by men long long time ago after thousands and millions of years of civilization, so what exactly are we believe in?
`
All mighty God, if u really exist why don't you prove your existence to us so that everybody will follow what you say and make the world a better place?
`Who am I here to question about religion? I'm just an insignificant, sceptical brat who thinks too highly about herself and saying such sacrilegious nonsense. But hey, it's common sense right if you dare say you believe in your religion, prove it action wise.`***Those things which are most real are the illusions I create***
- 11:30 AM
Y
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
♥
Be patient.
`
Be patient Rayne.
- 8:16 AM
Y
Saturday, May 16, 2009
♥
Happy Saturday~~Esplanade Theatre ~~ Orgo~~
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Nice view from the rooftop
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In the waiting area of the theatre
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After the show we went to have a drink at Orgo Bar and Restaurant on the rooftop. I love the Dragon-fruit and lemon&Honey Martini there! And we saw Mr Guru with his friends...
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Neo Pinlyn Joined us but she was a little bit late hem hem...
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The feeling was weild when I saw some of my teachers in school (Ms Johson, Mdm Loh and some other teachers). I think Sinli and I gave them quite a shock because we just looked like kids in school and out of sudden they saw the mature version of us.
The play 'Spotlights&Lanterns' performed by our school's StAJeworks & Alumni was quite up to standard. And I felt very happy when Roy said he enjoyed it and found it quite meaningful because it was the first time I ever treated him for a play=)
Roy darling why do u always treat me so well... I feel so touched today... Thank you for always making me happy =) Thank u for treating my friends so well too... Darling darling darling... I love you so much...
- 11:40 AM
Y
Thursday, May 14, 2009
♥
My soul longs for something greater, is patient, is kind, not envy, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, does not delight in evil, rejoices with the truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, never fails, and endures forever everlasting.
- 6:16 AM
Y
- 9:22 AM
Y
Saturday, May 9, 2009
♥
Visit this website! Assess your ecological footprint and you will be amazed!
WWF
You're living as if we had 3.50 planets to support us but we only have one.
`
We've also calculated your carbon footprint, which is 14.58 tonnes per annum
`Reduce your footprint...
`
I'm so ashamed of myself for being such a Hedonist!
- 11:12 PM
Y
♥
Random pic again...
Oh mien!
- 9:47 AM
Y
Saturday, May 2, 2009
♥
My Baby... Mommy loves you...
Sometimes I have this illusion that I gave birth to this little Baby...
- 8:23 PM
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- 5:59 AM
Y
Monday, April 27, 2009
♥
Look into my eyes
- 9:39 AM
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Saturday, April 25, 2009
♥
Darling finally got back his licence!`.JPG)
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Roy's licence was revoked because of drink driving just not long before we first met each other. It's been an unimaginable excruciating year for him. I hope I brought some solace and happiness to his darkest days. I've been waiting for this day for more than a year time, and I burst into tears of happiness when I was sitting beside him watching him driving. I'm so happy for him... I feel even happier than the day I obtained my own driving license. I love you Roy.
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Darling brought me to the Jewel Box, 'Singapore's first iconic bar on the hilltop' in Mount faber Park. Thought the view was not as nice as before because many parts of Singapore was under construction, I still enjoyed the relaxing hours spent with Roy.
`
Then I went to watch the movie 'Taken'. The show was simply brilliant. It stired the deepest emotion in me and made me blink back in tears. I learnt two things from there : the greatness of fatherly love and the vengeful nature existing in other men too besides myself. The crulty of the father can be justified because the human trafficker took away the most important thing in his life. It is Rage combined with the Courage makes a person so fearless and cruel. The show makes me hate myself a little lesser. What a touching show...
- 10:58 PM
Y
Friday, April 24, 2009
♥
It's all started by me drawing a stick man with Mato's head during one of the boring lectures because Maddy asked for help as Sinli drew a Maddy's head with her eyebrows joined together. `
And then Sinli suddenly saw it and drew two additional round stuffs on her stick man. It took me awhile to realize what she meant by drawing the extra circles.
`
I screamed in disbelief " Oh man you added two such humongous breasts on yourself!".
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Then she said with a calm voice, "I got breast de hor." I nearly fainted...
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Then Maddy drew a Rain's stick man and I beautified it by drawing two breasts bigger than Sinli's.
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Now is Maddy's turn to say something, "Why are your breasts all sagging!"
`
" Oh no..."
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Lastly Sinli completed them by adding underwears for us.
Yes for sure I'll fall to the front with my breast hitting the ground first if I have a big pair of breast like that...
- 7:43 AM
Y
Monday, April 20, 2009
♥
A few days ago, I went for a casting for applying the job as a representative model in Upfront Sg. They explained to me the whole process of casting and being chosen for commercial ads. The models are required to go for casting at least once a week so that the chance of being chosen will be higher. And once being chosen by the clients, they need to go for another day of shooting for the ads. I was utterly frightened by the tremendous amount of time needed for modelling. I thought they will just display my portfolio online and the clients could just choose the model they want for their ads so that all I need to do is go for the shoot once in awhile if someone choose me to do the job. How Naive I was! And, it takes some time for a new face to build up her popularity may be a year or so and then they will be asked to sign a contract.
`
I explained to Upfront about my case of being a JC year-2 student, I cannot afford to spend so much time for casting. They said I have no choice but have to wait until I finish my A's, and they will be more than happy to accept me as their model.
`
Just a few months ago, another renowned talent management, Eleganz asked me to be their model but I refused because I wanted to aim somewhere higher.
`
Upfrontmodels.com is one of the top Model Agency in Singapore and their main client is commercial ads, runway show and fashion show. I'm very happy as they are actually willing to take me in despite of my height, and I feel honoured to be the exception as all their models are at least 1.65m tall.
`
Hm... All I need to do now is to focus on my studies and spend whatever free time I have with Roy. I'll wait patiently...
- 6:20 AM
Y
Monday, April 13, 2009
♥
- 12:46 AM
Y
Saturday, April 11, 2009
♥
Last party before June holiday
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I really need to study hard now. I have to. I don't want to go party any more. Darling please help me control myself!
- 9:13 PM
Y
Friday, April 10, 2009
♥
A really happy day=)
`
A wonderful surprise from Roy!
`
Dear darling, you are the best boufriend ever. Sorry for everything that I have done to make you sad. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! `
Shopped at far east with dearie Sinli
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Thank you God for being so kind to me. I'm full of tears now... Hm, where should I start... I just had my worst day ever and happiness returned to me today. Thank you God for being so kind to me. I'm full of tears now... I’m thankful I have a wonderful man who loves me with all his heart. I’m thankful that I have a wonderful friend who’s always there for me. I’m thankful for all those setbacks which made me a stronger person. I'm thankful for everything that makes me happy.
- 8:16 AM
Y
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
♥
When can I unleash the energy and passion in me... When? I'm bounded by such circumstances under which nothing I desire could be realized and when situation changes, I will reserve nothing.
- 6:27 AM
Y
Sunday, April 5, 2009
♥
Helipad
`
Cam-whoring at home... 
Eating at Waraku
It's Helipad!
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Nice view from the rooftop.
This saturday Roy and I spent a romantic night at Helipad. The club had been sending me party invitition for consecutively 2 weeks but I didn't have the mood to attend. When we were finally there, there was luckily no party going on. Roy held my hand while I was taking non-stop and we had a really meaningful conversation there. 'How nice if time could freeze at this moment', he said. And I realized we are still as loving as a year ago. `
I feel so tired right now after school. A few more months to go...
- 6:21 AM
Y
Saturday, March 28, 2009
♥
School E-learning day + photo shooting +Clubbing at Le Noir and Attica
I received too many compliments from young till now. I grew up in a world of flattering. I thought I was good enough. I thought too highly about myself. I thought nobody could ever compare to me. But I just realized there are so many people out there who are much much better than me. I’m too narrow-sighted. This Friday I helped my friends for some photo shooting and after which I went clubbing at Lenoir and Attica with them. It was the first time I actually witnessed the mysterious social cycle of all the top models in Singapore. The models were so incredibly beautiful and there were so many of them. They hung around the VIP areas and had free flow of alcohols. Thanks to my friends I got into the VIP areas and had as many glasses of free alcohol as I could drink. 99 percent of the models were Eurasians. I was the shortest amongst them all even though I wore high heels. I found myself the most insignificant figure in that crowded place and my self confidence has somewhat diminished. I know I can never compare to them no matter how hard I try to beautify myself but I have confidence that they can never compare to me too in other areas. God is fair to me and I ought to appreciate the gifts he has given to me. I will work my guts out on order to achieve what I want. I will do it.
- 12:10 AM
Y
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
♥
It's time for me to have a drink
For so many months, I haven't had any chance to drink like I used to. So, yesterday I decided not to drive and drink as much I could. Finally, I was temporarily relieved from geog notes, econs, GP, Maths and loads of homework after 6 glasses of Martini, 1 shot of Hennessy and some beers... Yesterday was the only time I didn't suffer from insomnia and had a good rest... for f#cking 2 months! Alright 8 more months to go....
- 10:51 PM
Y
Monday, March 16, 2009
♥
Before I went to bed yesterday, I started to contemplate about my life ever since I started to blog. Vanity gradually takes over my former self, the sudden realization of this change made me recoil in revulsion. Worst of all, my attempts in finding the way back has proved no avail. It's so hard for me to change. The love for beauty and money has become a burden which distorted my soul in a seemingly harmless way. I can hardly go back to the past when I was a little girl that sat on Grandpa's lap and sang the songs which I learnt from school with only joys and happiness. Kindness and evil both exist in me but I was pretending and hiding for the other side of me all along. I must have faith in myself. No one is perfect. I must have faith in my soul.
- 3:31 AM
Y
Saturday, March 14, 2009
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In order to save my blogger space, I have to squeeze everything together haha. Alright, tomorrow I'm going to take my first and probably the last International chess competition @ Civil Service Club. 8 rounds of matches, my gush... 8 times... of losing my self-esteem to may be some primary kids... I know I know... I need to have confidence in whatever I am doing, but definitely not this time. Mum said, "You must have confidence in yourself! What if all your opponents are coincidently belong to the same category as you? "Wait, What did she mean by 'same category'? Worst of all, father laughed at me just like he laughed last time when he witnessed a guy tripped by his own feet. God. How nice it would be if I can cover myself from head to toe tomorrow by wearing a burqa like what the women in Afghanistan do. Shit, I can't be so pessimistic. Miracles do happen sometimes. May god bless me. Amen.
- 9:24 AM
Y
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M.A.C just Launched it's Hello Kitty Collection!`
- 8:57 AM
Y
Saturday, March 7, 2009
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Dancing in the Rain-
A story about love, friendship and betrayal......(6)`
continued...`
When the time Rain reached home, she walked in her bedroom and stared at the mirror of her dressing table. She saw herself in the mirror, and a picture of her childhood flashed in her mind: she was sitting in the middle of her grandparents on a sofa watching her favourite Tom and Jerry. They were just sitting there accompanying her, holding her little hands… She suddenly felt a pinch of her heart and then she couldn’t stop from swallowing something which was about to explode out from somewhere within...
`She sat down and flipped to the last page of her diary and started writing with a shaking hand:
`Dear Diary,
`
What a shame… Such a shame… Why are they doing this to me? I helped Mommy’s colleague to buy drinks, I greeted the auntie cleaning floor every time I walked by, I played with auntie Aileen’s little boy and took care of him when she’s busy, I always smiled back and waved when people smiled at me, I behaved humble whenever someone praised me, I waited patiently outside mum’s office when she’s dealing business… I think I’m a good girl… Why are they doing this to me… Why are they so mean to me…
`
She found her vision became more and more blurred and finally tears dropped down from her eyes to the page when she’s writing and stained the curvy words she wrote… More drop of tears fell down on the paper just like rain and finally stopped her from writing all together.
`
Rain ran back to her bedroom and buried her face in the pillow. Her shoulder shrugged, fingers scratched the pillow, tightly, painfully… Her mouth wide opened but made almost no noise at all.
`
She fell asleep with tears on her face until a phone call woke her up from the nightmare. May be it was another round of nightmare that was destined to crash her down bits by bits. When she answered the unfamiliar no. a man’s voice came over and said, “Hello girl, do you want to sleep with me my little darling? Let me provide you with lots of pleasure…” “Ah!!!!!!!!” Rain screamed and cursed and threw the phone on bed and continued screaming until her voice became hoarse and then she lost all her strength and voice and collapsed on to the floor.
`
Finally, Rain managed to pick herself up from the floor and dialled her mother’s no. “Hi mum, someone just… just called… and said something very disgusting… I’m… I’m scared… and very angry… Mum… mum…mum… mum…” She tasted the bitterness of her tears and this made her feel even worse.
`
Soon after, her mother rushed back home and hold her in her arms like holding a baby. “Oh baby… It’s fine now… Mum is here… Everything is fine now… You know they are…” “I know! I saw the messages in his cell phone!”, “It’s just a trap baby… You need to understand why they are doing this to us. It’s… Don’t cry, don’t cry mommy’s little baby, go and wash your face. Damn them! Let’s make a police report, NOW!”
Later that night, Rain’s boyfriend came over her house and three of them went to make a police report together.
`
After reaching the nearest police station at Ang Mo Kio Avenue 3, her mum and boyfriend provided all the messages and strange phone call details as evidence for investigation. But the police officer said they were unable to investigate and take actions unless they get the permission from the judge of any subordinate court. Rain’s mother was determined to sue the culprit so she then talked to the judge and finally the permission was granted.
`
While the investigation was ongoing, the police officer asked them to keep records of new phone calls and messages of harassment. Rain’s mother immediately bought a new cell phone no. for Rain and kept the old one in another cell phone and kept it away from her.
`
To be continued...
- 8:34 AM
Y
Saturday, February 28, 2009
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Peaceful afternoon at punggol Park
`
It's Saturday again. Roy asked me whether I want to go to town areas and I said 'no, of course'. I'm really too tired to go to crowded places... All I wanted is to spend a peaceful afternoon with Roy. I obviously chose the wrong main course for dinner coz the pasta is really not up to standard. My cough was miraculously cured by Wood's cough syrup and I feel much much better. Humm I'm tired... I'm going to have my afternoon nap soon...
- 9:36 PM
Y
Friday, February 27, 2009
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Have a bad day
`
It's time to have a bad day. Coughing non-stop is bad enough for me to feel miserable and mum never give a comforting word. All she did was to shout at me, " Y didn't u take ur medicine on time!" It's time to have a bad day and let sorrow and grief to find their way.This is so fair as God has given me so many happy days. Turn on to hear some sad sad songs which I seldom listen and never enjoy. My heart spirals into a deep abyss. Shattering the warmth and confidence from within, quickly the feeling of security diminishes - wherein shame and confusion fill in their absence. the heavy rainclouds in my mind let loose their turbulent nature. Yes, I am finally crying. I will cry as hard as I can this time and no more. I know tomorrow will be a good day. I'll take some photos, crack some jokes and have a good day.
- 5:36 AM
Y
Friday, February 20, 2009
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Friday Night. So emotional.
^
Today we went to a pub which is owned by Jacky Chan. Though the liveband performed very well but I was too tired to enjoy the music, the drink and the beautiful dancers. My eyes were dry and I couldn't even keep them wide open for only a few seconds.
^
I left home without having the dinner that father cooked for me. I kept imagining how sad and disapponted father was when he saw the untouched food left on the dining table. I will not disappoint him anymore.
^
Becasue I was very hungry when I was driving to the pub, I felt very angry and unhappy and I lost my way. Then I blamed Roy for not giving me a clear instruction and threw my temper on him. He then had to take a cab down and get in my car and guide me for the way. But he's so forgiving... He's always so forgiving... He felt nothing and still doted me like he always does. But I feel so bad for throwing my temper on him, on the man that loves me.
^
I used to be a child that always hurt the ones that love me most but I am not what I used to be any more. I learnt how to control my anger, I learnt how to think for others, I learnt that the world doesn't always revolves around me... I've learnt so much along the way and yet there is still so much for me to learn out there.
^
I'm being too sentimental today. Actually, all I want to say is: Roy, I love you.
- 9:23 AM
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- 3:02 AM
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- 7:12 PM
Y
Saturday, February 7, 2009
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Love is in the air~~~
An early Valentine's Day surprise!
14 Feb Newspaper! I'm going to buy lots of newspaper on that day!
Cone along with two heart-shaped heat pads!
These heat pad will really become handy during lectures as the lecture halls r usually freaking freezing! The heat pad instantly generate heat of up to approximately 54 degree celsius when activated and can be reused more than 100 times!^^
How to use:
Hold the metal disc and bend it. When the crystallisation process stops, gently squeeze the heat pad to soften it.
^^
To reuse:
Place the heat pad in boiling water for about 5 mins or until the crystals dissolve. Line the bottom of the pot with a piece of cloth to prevent the plastic from melting.
^^
Darling~~~ Thank you so much~~~
- 9:19 PM
Y
Thursday, February 5, 2009
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Dancing in the Rain-A story about love, friendship, betrayal and defamation...
^
(5)
^^
Continued...^^Rain’s boyfriend left XXX Group too and followed Alex and Rain’s mother to work in the newly established company. And everything just started so suddenly.^^
Loads of harassment phone calls and messages flooded in both Rain’s mother and boyfriend’s phones. At first, the messages were just mild suggestions about how complicated Rain’s relationships with her friends around were. Both of them just ignored the malicious messages.^^
When the sender realized none of the messages affected any of them, they started to send very defamatory and lecherous information about Rain. “Your girlfriend is a public bus which everybody could ride on…”, “She’s slept with Alex and a few other men…”, “Although she’s young but she’s very experienced…”… After reading these messages, Rain’s mother and boyfriend were very angry but they knew very clear that the intention of the scandalmonger which was to distract them from work and provoke some conflicts among themselves so that they couldn’t cooperate peacefully. Only fools would fall into such a trap.^^
But how could a mother ever be unaffected emotionally when her one and only daughter was scandalized and dishonoured with such humiliating and abusing words. But she kept it only to herself. And shed tears inside.^^
Her boyfriend though loved her very much but was less affected by the messages. Just like the old proverb says, “No love on earth can ever compare to maternal love.” ^^
Both of them tried to conceal the matter from Rain because they knew young and innocent Rain might just fall into the trap and feel upset about it. ^^
However, nothing could be done to hide the matter from Rain as she’s a girl born with superb sensitivity. Any trace of eccentric behaviour of people around her would raise suspicion and lead Rain to explore and do detective work.^^
She asked both her mother and boyfriend about what was going on but they refused to disclose anything. She pestered her mother to tell her but all the persuasion was gone to no avail. ^^
So she turned to her boyfriend. Pleaded at first and then pretended to be angry with him since he kept a ‘secret’ from her. Her boyfriend was never as firm as her mother when dealing with Rain, he complied in the end and told Rain about the entire episode and at the same time broke the promise he has made to Rain’s mother.^^
He was stricken with anxiety and fear immediately after he told Rain about what really happened because he suddenly had a feeling that the person in front of him was not his usual little girlfriend but someone else as Rain reacted in a very peculiar way. She showed no sign of anger or distress, her face was as calm as water.^^
He nudged her shoulder and wrapped his arm around her. He kissed her forehead and cheeks. He started to say something in a bid to console Rain. But Rain never spoke a word for the whole day no matter how hard he tried to make Rain speak her mind. He was absolutely frightened by Rain’s unusual behaviour. Rain never hesitated in confessing her feeling to him but this time she just shut herself up. ^^To be continued...
- 6:45 AM
Y
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
♥
Happy Happy Chinese New Year!
I had a really really packed Chinese New Year Schedule. I went to 'Bai Nian' for the past two days and collected loads of 'Ang Bao' hehehe... Got a really bounteous one from my parents and another big one from my uncle. The rest I collected from all Roy's relatives and friends' parents hiak hiak hiak... Drank a lot of birds nest, ate a lot of junk food and ended up taking pics with Mr. Goh's police cap... Watched several CNY Comedies with Roy and we laughed like crazy in the cinema... What a joyous festival! =)=)=)
- 7:34 AM
Y
Saturday, January 24, 2009
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The Magic of Light!~
Photo shoot at Vivo City! Sorry for the blurred photos, coming up more photos of Chines New Year Celebration!
- 8:28 AM
Y
Friday, January 23, 2009
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Chinese New Year Celebration in school!
Sinli and I
Xinying performing 'Wushu'... So cool!
Pic with Kai...
I had a super duper nice friday!
- 7:13 AM
Y
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
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Tadah! Random pic...
God I'm busy. I've been too caught up with school work recently and neglected a lot of things which I hold dearly. Today, our GP teacher cracked a joke during class which upset me... But when I brooded over and over again I feel much better coz I know he didn't mean it. Some people just love to speak without first thinking through what to say and end up arousing anger in others. I have a few friends which I hated very much at first but fell in love with them after I really get to know them. Interesting... Someone just put a big big smile on my face. Thank you darling, I'm so happy now=)
- 5:27 AM
Y
Saturday, January 17, 2009
♥
Dancing in the Rain-
A story about love, friendship, betrayal and defamation... (4)^^continued...^^The day ended when her mum called her to go back home together.
^^Alex was finally forced out of the company, but God would never abandon someone with such superb calibre and intelligence. He soon devoted himself in setting up a company of his own.^^
Before he left the XXX group, He once held a private meeting with some close staff members. He asked a question like ‘Who’s coming with me?’ Everyone responded positively and showed their loyalty. Alan, Karen, Jiahua(one of the supervisor), Rain’s boyfriend and some other people all said ‘yes’ in a very assuring tone. But when Alex asked Rain’s mother, even after he offered loads of attractive advantages in the new company and persuaded her persistently, she refused to give any answer nor any promise. ^^
She didn’t mean to dismay Alex in such a way. She was just being wise and objective. She was someone never easily influenced by her emotions under all circumstances. She needed to think carefully before giving any answers because she would never allow herself to give any empty promise.^^
Ironically, when the day finally came, the ones that responded most vehemently about quitting their jobs and joining Alex did just the opposite. They faltered, they were afraid of the upcoming uncertainty that they had to bear with. It was the risk that no one wanted to take. ^^Rain later heard that each one of the staff members who were present in Alex’s private meeting was called in to talk with the chairman individually.^^
There was no blame about this issue because no one owns anyone anything except Alan. Rain heard from her boyfriend that Alan once embezzled some money from the company and was caught by Alex. It was serious as it was a crime. If Alex had reported this case to police Alan would have already been jailed up and canned. But Alex had given him another chance to amend for and repent from his mistake simply because he pitied him for his bankruptcy situation. ^^But now, Alan seemed to have forgotten about all the things Alex have done for him and now he turned his back to him. ^^
When everybody was indulging in the sweet honeymoon period after betraying Alex and being treated exceptionally well by the boss, something happened out of sudden which left all of them flabbergasted. ^^
Rain’s mother left the XXX group, gave up her highly paid senior manager position and partnered Alex for his business venture. ‘How could it be’? Everyone thought that she was out of her mind. Y would anyone give up such a position that everyone coveted for?^^
She was ambitious, and practically forward looking. Y should a woman with such great ambition and capability being complacent and feeling contented. ^^
Her newly registered company with Alex as her only partner was established soon after he left the company.^^
The story didn’t just end here. Things can never go smoothly as it was expected. The company would definitely encounter some obstacles at the beginning, but it was not about it this time. ^^
It was about Rain. It was about the ones that loved her. Rain tried and even pretended to be strong. But how could a heart so young and so fragile remain intact when people stabbed hard right onto it piercing through the fleshes and twisted inside.^^
To be continued...
- 9:05 AM
Y
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
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My Gush I can’t believe I’m in this school.
^^
Today, during our break time, we all heard an announcement over the entire school, “The car owner of plate numberXXXXXXX please come to the general office now, Thank you.
^^
I was stunned... For about a few seconds and realized they were calling me. Gush, so embarrassing! I went to the general office and met Miss Yao, she told me I have been occupying two parking space at the same time for consecutively two days and some teachers have been complaining that I was very inconsiderate.
^^
That I can’t deny. We stood at the foyer and looked at my car, it was indeed conspicuously parked at the centre line of two parking space. I explained I was on a rush this morning coz I woke up at 7.10am, got out of the house at 7.20 and reach school by 7.30 and I was late. And.... There were sooooo many empty lots besides my car. She’s kind and accepted my excuse and asked me to park my car nicely. Then, started picking on me. My hairs’ too brown, my shoes’ too colourful and I have too many ear studs on my left ear. I have to dye back my hair, take out my extra ear studs and change my shoe.
^^
At one instance she reminded me of the Ah lians and Ah bengs of my old secondary school that were often called up by the school disciplinary master. I know she’s a kind teacher but I just feel very bad about this matter. My goodness... It’s only the 3rd day of school reopen... And I became the student with disciplinary problems. Let me die...Just let me die.
^^
How obedient a student I am... How hard-working a student I am... Haiz... Haha.
^^
Then after school, my PD tutor talked to me about it... Again came another round of kind persuasion with a concerning tone. Help me! I’m a good student ok!! I feel so sad now, being judged by so many teachers.
^^
And and... because of this one incident, so many people have actually witnessed and heard about me driving to school. Ouch. Y must this happen to me.
^^
I have no choice but to make this clear. The reason why I drive to school is because I’m old enough to drive a car and I’ve gotten my driving license after the miserable journey of learning and taking the test. I finally acquired my license. Next, being a year two student, I want to spend every minutes of my time wisely. I wish to go back to school every day immediately after school as fast as I could so that I can take a rest and wake up early to study and do my work! I had been waiting for the freaking bus for the whole 2008 and I was exhausted by the long ride home. I can reach home in only 10 mins by driving why do I need to waste about 45 mins on road everyday by waiting the bus.
^^
I wanted to keep it in the low profile but it seems so hard now coz I know student driving to school in JC is not common because there is hardly anyone who’s old enough or free enough to get the license.
^^
But everyone will get their license eventually right, so no need to feel surprised coz
I’m 19 already and you are merely 18. Study hard peers! Let’s all get flying colours for our A levels! That’s all what really matters now.
- 10:19 PM
Y
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Ahh!!! I'm dying... I'm damn tired... School is @#$%f&*%!!!!!!! Okay I'm done. Just ignore me.
- 4:04 AM
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- 4:44 AM
Y
Thursday, January 8, 2009
♥
Lunar night out!
Roy and I shopped around Far East Plaza and had dinner over thereIt was a great night out in Lunar with people I love=) I've been really really super lazy to take photos in clubs=(
- 4:48 AM
Y
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
♥
Dancing in the Rain-
A story about love, friendship, betrayal and defamation... (3)
Continued...
The dinner went smoothly till near the ending, the chairman was asked to speak a few words. After his speech, the chairman raised his glass of wine and yelled “for the success of XXX Group!”... 1 second, 2 seconds, 3 seconds and a few seconds had passed, the dining hall turned to a very awkward silence.
The chairman had obviously embarrassed himself as no one really reacted quickly enough to his high-raised glass.
At this moment, Alex stood up and first raised his glass, repeated “for the success of XXX Group!” and signalled to others to stand up too. Everyone quickly followed and cheered “for the success of XXX Group!” Finally, the chairman was rescued from the moment of embarrassment but Rain noticed there was a flash of contempt and resentment expressed on his face as he was sitting down.
He knew what he lacked of was the charisma and charm that could draw people’s attention naturally and unknowingly and all these qualities could be found in Alex. No wonder he was jealous and felt threatened.
But was it right to sabotage Alex even if he never meant to do any harm?
When the dinner was over, Alex called all staffs from the main branch of Singapore to go for a drinking. Rain’s mother, her boyfriend and herself, Alan and Karen were all invited.
Rain started with a glass of ‘dirty martini’ and finished it by one shots, this is to make herself setting down in the correct ‘mood’. Later on, Karen, Alan and her boyfriend joined her. She ordered another glass of ‘dirty martini’ and finished it quickly because the first shot obviously did not work for her. To get started with a couple of drinks before anything goes on was to make her feel relaxed and comfortable in the place where she was staying at within possibly the shortest time.
Ah, she finally found herself in the most desired mood- the most relaxing state. She turned a little bit playful and wanted to play pool.
The pub was crowded with people but miraculously no one was playing pool. Rain picked up a cue and tried to figure out how to make all the balls come out from the pool table. Someone tabbed at her shoulder, she turned and saw a stack of $1 coins being rendered to her, her boyfriend. That’s so thoughtful of him. Rain felt very blessed and excited at the same time just like when she was having dinner and exchanging loving glances with her boyfriend because now her mother was watching them.
She started with her first round with him. From the instance the white ball hit its first ball, the whole pub quietened down. Everyone was watching at them, or may be just Rain. Rain was not an expert at this, she just wanted to play it for fun but found herself the centre of attention again. She felt a little bit nervous at first but became more courageous later on under the influence of alcohol. Rain was exceptionally lucky for the first round of the game, she didn’t embarrass herself at all in front of everybody. Instead, her each and every graceful movement, her fair and elegant fingers on the red-coloured table, her hard and accurate shots and her feminine composure drew all the attentions from everywhere.
She quickly finished her first round with boyfriend and won the game. According to the rules, she could stay and the other players had to queue and write their names on the white board on the wall. Suddenly, more than 10 names had lined up on the little white board behind.
Soon after, she began her second battle with someone she never met before. This guy was in his mid 20s Rain guessed. Just by one glance she knew where he belonged to: the explorer.
This was how Rain categorized men: the Explorer, the Dreamer, the Control Freak, the Deep man and the Lover.
The Explorer is someone that loves to explore new horizons in a daily basis. He loves to flirt with women and once the woman is won, he lost interest and go for new ones.
The dreamer sees love as the epitome of romance, but he’s unrealistic and can be easily freaked out when reality sets in.
The Control Freak is someone who views their girlfriend as a personal belonging. They insist on dominating all areas of the relationship including what should his girlfriend wear when she goes out.
The Deep man is someone who is insightful and has many positive relationships with others, this unfortunately including many women.
The Lover is someone who truly believes in love. He feels good about who he is and secure with his sexuality and his emotions. He can date and love freely and is not afraid to express his feelings. He has the willingness and ability to give love and he deserves true love in return.
And of course all women want a Lover so did Rain. Fortunately she had a lover and that was her boyfriend.
Back to the pool table, Rain was stunned by how skilful her opponent was. Though he looked flirty but Rain couldn’t deny that he’s kinda cute. But her mind quickly swayed back to her game and finally they both had to put black ball no.8 in peace. She tried, very carefully but failed to aim accurately. He on the other hand purposely mishit the ball and allowed another chance for Rain. A few of his guy friends made some irritating noise and laughter around. They were at all times scrutinizing Rain with lecherous looks. She desperately wanted to win the game but she failed again. She sighed and put back the cue and waited for him to end the game. But still, he didn’t end the game, he didn’t even want to end the game! Rain realized he’s trying to keep her longer but she just wanted to get away from the table, from the sight of everyone and find a quiet place to hug his boyfriend, to give him some comfort because she knew he must be very jealous and angry by now.
Rain ignored the guy playing with her and walked back to her boyfriend. These guys finally realized they were fooling around with someone’s girlfriend and all of them retreated because Rain’s boyfriend settled his eyes on them with such fury that anyone could read ‘I’m gonna kill you’.
Alan was another guy that ALWAYS peeped at Rain, not only this time. Rain had already sensed it long ago but all she did was to act as if she knew nothing and made funny gestures and talk loudly to make herself look stupid and make everyone laugh at her. This hopefully could cause Alan to lose interest in her. All the sacrifices were done just to maintain her friendship with Karen. Though everyone knew of Alan’s flirty nature but Karen definitely couldn’t stand the fact the he tried to flirt with her good friend.
For the whole night, Rain didn’t notice there was someone who was at all times watching her with such jealousy and anger. Even she did feel something was not right and the hostility comes out from someone, she just couldn’t make herself believe it.
To be continued...
- 10:43 AM
Y
Monday, January 5, 2009
♥
Oh my goodness I thought school will start the week after next but someone just reminded me school starts next monday!!! Cry~~~ Never do homework~~~ Cry~~~
- 11:18 AM
Y
♥
Hear Me Rain- A story about love, friendship, betrayal and defamation... (2)
Continued...
One day, Karen secretly disappeared. No one received any advanced notice, phone call ormessage. She just disappeared miraculously. Alan was extremely worried and saddened. He told everyone that he missed her like crazy and he’s in hell pain. Rain suddenly realized Alan was really in love with Karen, at least he’s not playing with her and Rain felt very guilty for thinking that Alan was a total bastard for such a long time. That was the first time Rain started to change her judgement over Alan.
It’s been a week since Karen had gone missing. Rain was very worried about Karen, her anxiety gradually turned to a mild indignation. “How could she!” Rain bellowed in front of boyfriend. She started to complain about Karen’s irresponsible behaviour and praised Alan for his true heart and loyalty. Boyfriend finally broke his all-time silence, “Baby, you are really too young for all this. There are things that are too complicated and what you see is just superficial. Do you know what did I see just 2 days before Karen left? I SAW ALAN SLAPPED HER HARD ON THE FACE FOR FUCKING 3 TIMES K! And that’s not enough, HE PULLED HER HAIR AND BANGED HER ON THE WALL!!! They were in a private office and he thought no one will ever discover what he did to Karen.”
A super long silence followed after he finished the last word...... Rain was shocked, terrified obviously. How could a man ever disguise himself so impeccably and made everyone see him as a ‘noble man’. What a bastard!
Karen finally returned and continued her love affair with Alan. So sickening. Rain didn’t ask further and all she wanted to do was to get away from their business and just care about her own simple and happy life.
This story actually just begins here...
Once upon a time, Rain attended her mother’s company’s yearly convention and dinner at a grand five-star hotel. She had carefully chosen her attire from head to toe as early as one month before the dinner because she wanted to look perfect and make her mother feel proud to have a beautiful daughter like her. She had chosen a black-colour night gown from CK which fitted perfectly with her slender figure, a pair of gorgeous heels from Chloé, an evening bag and some accessories.
On the day itself, Rain just looked totally gorgeous and magnificent. Her snowy white skin under her little black gown that glowed under the crystal lights,her youthful complexion, her composure, her elegance and her sweet but yet calm smile throughout the night made her the star of that night. Her mother was extremely pleased, even the chairman of the international corporation came to shake hand with Rain and flattered her with plenty of praises.
Her secret boyfriend was sitting at a table not far away from Rain. One thing that made Rain very proud of him was that he had been promoted to Marketing Manager and was sitting with important member staffs of the company talking about some business issue. She occasionally exchanged loving glances with him and felt very exciting and blessed.
Her godbrother Alex, the CEO of the corporation was not on a good mood for the night. Rain noticed that he looked gloomy and refused to talk much. He just stuffed himself in food and sometimes spoke softly with the other two men beside him. Rain heard from mum that the chairman was going to fire him because everybody view him as the ‘boss’ and he had a very big influence on all the staff of the corporation. The chairman felt threatened and thus he had been making up all kinds of excuses to force him to leave the company. But since he was one of the shareholders, the chairman had bribed all other shareholders to exert pressure on him. Poor Alex... How she wish she could help him but she was just too powerless.
Alex became Rain’s godbrother because of one incident. There was one time that Rain had a major quarrel with her boyfriend and she wanted to break up with him. Her boyfriend was extremely upset and he took leaves from work and refused to eat at home. His mother called Rain and told her he’s suffering from depression and asked her to help him. Rain was just as upset as he was, and when she felt upset, she just refused to talk. But she still worried about him and she wanted him to feel better so she called Alex and asked him to help her to check on her boyfriend and persuade him to go back to normal. During the process, Alex was a helping friend and a mentor to Rain. Eventually she felt he was like a big brother that was caring and could take care of anything. When the time Alex finally helped them solved the problem and persuaded Rain to give her boyfriend another chance, Rain told him she wanted a godbrother like him and Alex agreed.
Back to the dinner, Alan and Karen were sitting at a table quite far away from all of them. Rain and Karen chatted for awhile before they went to sit at their respective seats. Karen also looked very attractive that night. She was wearing a lovely silver-coloured dress and a pair of white boots. Rain however felt that Karen’s white boots somehow conflicted with the theme of the night which was ‘Black Tie’, but she kept her mouth shut because she knew how mush efforts Karen had put into dressing herself. Her heavily shadowed eyes, her fake long eyelashes, her face powder that made her face a little whiter than her neck and arms... All these were obvious signs of her many hours of efforts into beautifying herself.
Rain praised Karen’s dressing and make-ups in a hope to make her happy. However Karen looked not at all happy. She vaguely praised Rain and found herself an excuse and went to find her seat. Rain knew clearly there was something wrong with Karen and she guessed it was about Alan again. She wanted to find her and ask her further but Rain’s mother called her to go back to her seat.
To be continued...
- 12:16 AM
Y
Sunday, January 4, 2009
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National Geogaraphy
This is an ancient fossil. I forgot what the description was but I guess the background stone is a sedimentary rock as it is layered in nature and looks like Shale. During the lithification process, sediment is compacted and cemented to form the typical sandstone. But the fossils are a bit hard to explain because they usually formed together with metamorphic rock under great pressure and heat. Can anyone explain to me it's formation?
Being a geography student, or what the teacher used to call us the'geologist', I'm keen to learn new things and personally experience what I have learnt in books. (The teacher did sometimes flatter us with the notion that we are young geologist so as to motivate us in a way or another. Anyway I like being called a 'geologist' whahahaha)So that day when I chanced upon this special place called the' National Geogaraphy' at Vivo city, I jumped in with excitement. It combines shopping and museum in to one complex so that when a couple or friends or family go in to this complex, they can choose to do what they like, be it shopping or just look at the fossils and photographs.
- 12:36 AM
Y
Friday, January 2, 2009
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Hear me Rain-A story about love, friendship,betrayal,defamation... (1)
Once upon a time there was an ordinary girl who was studying in an average neighbourhood secondary school and leading a quite peaceful and happy life. Her name is Rain. Just like a normal schooling kid, she loved to do things which school forbid student to do such as alter her skirt in a length that was slightly above her knees and tuck out her school shirt to look more ‘trendy’. Besides all these little disciplinary problems she was what others regarded as a ‘good student’ as she studied very hard and her results was always amongst the best.
The only difference was that she enjoyed a life that was too young for her age and too unapproachable for the rest. She had a loving boyfriend and she went to club frequently even at such a young age. She had a passion to dance, drinking just made dancing more relaxing.
Sometimes she would accompany her bf to drink in a pub with some other friends of his, usually with Alan and Karen. Alan and Karen had a special relationship which everyone knew of except Alan’s wife. In fact Alan and his wife were not legally pronounced as husband and wife as they didn’t register their marriage but they cohabited together because the wife was pregnant. Alan and Karen’s relationship started quite long ago when they first started with a one-night-stand. Then they spent another night together and more after. They found themselves fell in love with each other and that’s why no one really cared about Alan’s pre-existing family. They just hung out together happily and often invited their friends to join them for drinking. This was how Rain knew of this couple.
It was not until then Rain first saw Karen. They first met each other by chance in the same company Rain’s mother was working in. Her mother introduced both of them but at that time they just regarded each other politely and talked no more.
Dramatically, Karen, Alan and Rain’s bf were all working in the same company as Rain’s mother at that time but only her mother was greatly valued as the Top Producer and the Senior Manager, The rest were still struggling on improving their sales and making the Big Boss happier.
Rain at that time was 17 and Karen was just merely 2 years older than her. Naturally they became very good friends and they shopped together, watched movie together and even shared their secret fantasy with each other.
Being young and immature at the time being, Rain thought Karen did nothing wrong in her relationship and she pitied her for being a third-party. ‘It’s all Alan’s fault’, she thought with compassion. There was one thing Rain felt very unfair, Karen was a pretty and innocent young lady, why should she be so stupid?? If Alan was totally handsome she could understand the sacrifice. If he was terribly rich she could understand too. But Alan was a bankruptcy and he was way older than Karen. Most importantly, He had a family! But being a wise girl, Rain stopped persuading Karen to leave Alan after she failed the very first time because Karen became very impatience and unhappy when Rain was trying to persuade her. Obviously Karen knew her good intention but felt rather irritating as she had been hearing such suggestions very often.
‘Love is blind’, it was the first time Rain subtly and painfully experienced the meaning of the old proverb as a bystander of her good friend’s love affair. However, Karen seemed very contented and happy being with Alan though she sometimes did complain about his wife and his family. Rain always comforted herself with the thought ‘as long as she’s happy’.
One day, Karen secretly disappeared. No one received any advanced notice, phone call or message. She just disappeared miraculously...
To be continued...
- 10:00 AM
Y
Monday, December 29, 2008
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Fuck The Rain umbrella
Wa, I'm damn hurt by the umbrella designed byAnton Schnaider...
Bastard.
- 8:57 AM
Y
Saturday, December 27, 2008
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Secondary school class gathering
At chijmes...
At fish&Co....
Rain, Jingxia and Peiyong
Liping,Rain,Agnes,Peiyong
It's been such a long time since I last saw them... I had been too caught up with the fugly JC life for the whole year, now I finally get to see them again... Though I acted as if I care about no one but in fact I missed them sooooo much. We have spent 5 years of secondary school life together, we shared tears, we shared joys... Our friendships have long been deeply rooted in my heart and I guess nothing could really replace their special place in my life. We have all grown up and became more mature... We all lead our life in different directions...But heart to heart... there is no distance in between. I was hurt, I was touched... But all I remember now is a journey we have gone through together. I hope our friendships could last forever=)
- 11:43 AM
Y
Friday, December 26, 2008
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Reflection of year 2008Now, The Christmas has just passed and New Year is coming in a few days time. Honestly I feel nothing about this supposedly joyous season. I feel stressed and the stress is caused by myself. I still have loads of homework haven’t complete and I know I won’t be able to complete them all in time. I failed to adhere to my own rules of focus and control for the entire 2008 which I have been following strictly for all these years.
JC life is too hectic and deadly. It always makes me feel like vomiting whenever I forced myself too hard on keeping focus and studying. People have grown up and changed to the better or went awry. One can hardly exchange heart with another even if one treats another whole heartedly. Teachers like to threaten students to obey to their rules with the excuse of ‘for your own good’ without acknowledging their own motive for getting promoted. Students used to comply with the threats coz they know they need threats to force themselves to do more but at the same time they resent and complain. It’s all interlinked. No one is to blame the other. Just like ‘relationship’ in JC, if you want to be liked by everybody then be ordinary and insignificant. If you want to be outstanding and extraordinary, then sorry you have to stand with all jealousy, backstabbing, betrayal and discredit. It’s all in one cycle too.
Though I tried very hard to break through those cycles but found myself unable to get away coz I’m part of the cycles. All I can do is to spread my true love without hoping for returns coz GIVING makes me happier than RECEIVING. You don’t believe it’s true then do the experiment as follow: prepare some $1 coins and use it to buy 1 pack of tissue paper from the old aunties instead of three. I bet you will feel very blessed for giving away the other 2 packs. Y not then u don’t take the tissue at all and give away the $1 to the aunties. No! By doing this u actually kills the aunties self-esteem and dignity coz they r selling tissues not begging for money.
Alright back to my main point: I don’t care how complicated and how many politics r there in school, I’ll just be myself, be sincere and simple. Life can be happy or full of sorrows simply depends on how you treat it.
Well, I guess I sound too pessimistic. I do feel that there r friends that r truly faithful and fair-minded. I count myself fortunate to have friends like them in school and I enjoy spending time with them very much=)
My family and I have spent through a blissful and peaceful year. I feel so grateful to everything.
The best thing of the year is... I Have Royston, my boyfriend to fill up my life and make it so splendidly beautiful. He’s always there for me whenever I feel upset and face setbacks. He’s also the one who doubles my joys and divides my sorrows. He’s the one who dotes on me and showers me with lots of love and makes me feel like the happiest woman in the world. He’s the one who teaches and guides me along the way to make sure I always get to the point I want. He’s the one that introduces me into his family and his social cycle to make my life more exciting and happening. He’s the one that bears with my occasional explored tantrum and always forgives me like what fathers always do to their children. Oh, man, U r such a wonderful gift from God. Thank you so much for being my man=)
End of my reflection.
- 11:52 AM
Y
Friday, December 19, 2008
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Dear Santa, I have only one wish this year...I wish my grandmother can recover fully from her illness as soon as possible and does not need to suffer from any pains and discomfort. Please grant me the wish.
- 9:19 PM
Y
- 8:36 AM
Y
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
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My Baby!This is when he was about two months old...
This what he looks like now... After grooming... I feel sorry to Baby coz Mommy is too lazy to help u wash face... Dirty boy.
He's biting his Favourite Toy chicken
Dear Baby,Do u know how much mommy loves u... U lick mommy's feet every morning about 7 am to wake mommy up and feed u... That's so thoughtful of u honey... U always poo poo immediately after ur breakfast and that incredible foul adore of ur poo poo wake mommy up again... Baby u noe ur poo poo is so powerful that always makes mommy feel like fainting. Then finally I can get back to my bed and continue my Zzz~~ Every night no matter how smelly u r, Mommy always put u comfortably on my bed, head on my pillow and we even share the same blanket... Then the next day Mommy's Mommy always says: Oh, now u even smell like a dog. No matter what Baby, please always remember that Mommy loves u very very much...
- 10:31 AM
Y
Monday, December 15, 2008
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Shopping, Watching movie, food hunting are the most common things to do in a holiday=)
I love this holiday man! How I wish it could last forever haha... Every day can be a shopping day=) I'm lovin' it
- 7:43 AM
Y
Monday, December 8, 2008
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I went to pick Roy up from work again and have dinner together. When I have time I always drive all the way to Bukit Timah and pick up him from work. I hope I could bring some solace to Roy coz he still can't get back his license. Driving is really tiring sometimes, I have to keep my nerve tense at all time otherwise I might fall asleep while driving which is super dangerous. Roy screamed like a cartoon character sometimes while I was driving, he's really cute... There is another cute side of him despite his usual cool self that no one else could ever see but me hee hee hee...
- 7:47 AM
Y
Thursday, December 4, 2008
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Wedding Dinner on Cruise!
I like the feeling that the gentle breeze from the sea caresses my body, touching my bare skin and making my hair swing behind. The feeling is so romantic and sentimental at the same time.
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However almost everyone experienced sea-sick half way during the journey partly due to the unpredictable turbulent sea waves that made the cruise swing rather seriously.
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Some people felt like throwing up almost immediately after their dinner but Roy and I were strong enough to continue our second round of eating desserts and drinking cocktails.
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I suggest that everyone should take a sea-sick pill half an hour before the journey no matter how strong u think u r coz this ensures that everyone can have a pleasant journey.
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Back to the wedding, the short video that the bride prepared for her groom was so sweet and touching. I almost burst into tears when the last three sentence appeared on the screen: Thank u for being my friend. Thank u for being my lover. Thank u for being my husband... No matter how much efforts one have put into a relationship, one should always remember what her other half has been doing for all these years and be thankful to everything he has done to make her happy. If a man could play the three roles well at the same time, I would say he's such a gift that heaven provides! His lover can have someone to share her dream with, indulge in the sweetness of love and be supported by her man whenever she faces setbacks. How wonderful...
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An interesting idea suddenlly popped up in my mind... May be when I reach the age of 21, I should have a birthday party on cruise. All guest are entitled to dress like a star and spend a wonderful night with me hiak hiak hiak... Just dreaming. When I'm still young, I dun wan to waste time on having a mundane life. I will store up all interesting memories for my old age to reminisce about=)
- 8:00 AM
Y
You know I love hunks, don't you? 
Time flies. Some years have passed in a blink of eyes. Everything has changed and yet nothing is different. In the midst of helicoidal flow, I can't quite stand still fighting against the overwhelming force. We all have grown up.
lovely food @ House. Dempsey
Blood and Rose party coincide with a birthday party
Elegantly Wasted Party @ White Rabbit
Formula 1 rocks! 
Fuel Party@ Singapore National Museum
You have no idea how SEXY my baby Xinying was
For almost 20 years I met so many friends and only so little of them mean so much to me. And you are one of them :)
F1 Ferrari event at Mimolette
supermodelme.tv event @ Zouk
Gerald Koo Photo ( below)
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Playing piano in school with Sinli.
Walked along the Haji Lane and experienced something totally new to me. The pace of the city seemed to be slowed down. I can only relate this place to a cozy lifestyle...
Yesterday was Hilarious. I was quite drunk after mixing red wine, beers and Hard liquor and vomitted again in front of Roy. Oh no I'm such a bad drinker. The guys were busy taking photos for us, one after another while we shifted our attention from one camera to another haha! They were just like Paparazzi. The girls were so lovely, I can't wait to go out with them again=)
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Rayne, Joey, Katherine and Wendy.JPG)
It's Mimolette @ Bukit Timah.JPG)
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My hair looks stiff and too curly because they styled my hair before I leave. It's going to be soft and romantic curls after my first wash... But guess what, I can only wash my hair after two days!! I refuse to step out of my house at all before I can wash it!
Today I watched the movie 'Angels and Demons'. I always thought as long as I believe in certain things, I don't have to care whether they are true or not. This time I have to confess that sometimes I hate it when I keep on questioning myself but can't get an answer. Does God or any other forms of God really exist? I used to go church, I used to pray and sing Christian songs, I used to study bibles but nothing could convince me fully that God really exists. The main message of the movie is that science and religion can co-exist with each other. But in reality, there are too many conflicts and contradictions between science and religion. 
Neo Pinlyn Joined us but she was a little bit late hem hem....JPG)
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Mommy, I know u r going to read my blog, please always remember that I love you more than anything else in the world... U always tell others that u r so proud of me but I never tell u how proud and blessed I am to have a mother like u. Mommy I'm so proud of u... U r the star of my life...
Darling y r u wearing my bangles!
A wonderful day spent with darling... Roy, this is my lil sexy for you=) 
It's all started by me drawing a stick man with Mato's head during one of the boring lectures because Maddy asked for help as Sinli drew a Maddy's head with her eyebrows joined together. 
Yes for sure I'll fall to the front with my breast hitting the ground first if I have a big pair of breast like that...
Dear darling, you are the best boufriend ever. Sorry for everything that I have done to make you sad. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
14 Feb 2009. Royston and I went to east coast park and had our most romantic and memorable date. I cried...
lovely gifts from friends=)
What a wonderdul gift, how could I bear to eat it!
Lovely lovely Sinli~~~ Muackz~~~
Rain and Maddy
Balloons!!! I love the balloon!!! Love u Sinli!!!
Cone along with two heart-shaped heat pads!
These heat pad will really become handy during lectures as the lecture halls r usually freaking freezing! The heat pad instantly generate heat of up to approximately 54 degree celsius when activated and can be reused more than 100 times!
I had a really really packed Chinese New Year Schedule. I went to 'Bai Nian' for the past two days and collected loads of 'Ang Bao' hehehe... Got a really bounteous one from my parents and another big one from my uncle. The rest I collected from all Roy's relatives and friends' parents hiak hiak hiak... Drank a lot of birds nest, ate a lot of junk food and ended up taking pics with Mr. Goh's police cap... Watched several CNY Comedies with Roy and we laughed like crazy in the cinema... What a joyous festival! =)=)=)
Xinying performing 'Wushu'... So cool!
Pic with Kai...
I had a super duper nice friday!
God I'm busy. I've been too caught up with school work recently and neglected a lot of things which I hold dearly. Today, our GP teacher cracked a joke during class which upset me... But when I brooded over and over again I feel much better coz I know he didn't mean it. Some people just love to speak without first thinking through what to say and end up arousing anger in others. I have a few friends which I hated very much at first but fell in love with them after I really get to know them. Interesting... Someone just put a big big smile on my face. Thank you darling, I'm so happy now=)
Dancing in the Rain-A story about love, friendship, betrayal and defamation... (4)
Samantha's tidy bed
Xinying and Samantha sharing one mirror. Soooo cute...
make up for Xinying
On the way to Clark Quay
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Having Dinner
Voluptuous dancer at Zirca
Haha let's be the stars of tonight!
Magnificent Performance...
Now u noe how hot the girls are
Roy aka boyfriend, Shawn, melvin aka Yp, Xinying, Samantha aka Semie
At the dance floor
Hotties...
Trying to act sexy
On the dance floor
Saturday night we went to club at Zirca, one of my favourite places. We really drank a lot and had lots of fun there. All of us were so high and we danced the whole night away. My legs are super pain now haha, so embarrassed heheh... 
Roy and I shopped around Far East Plaza and had dinner over there
Dancing in the Rain-A story about love, friendship, betrayal and defamation... (3)
This is an ancient fossil. I forgot what the description was but I guess the background stone is a sedimentary rock as it is layered in nature and looks like Shale. During the lithification process, sediment is compacted and cemented to form the typical sandstone. But the fossils are a bit hard to explain because they usually formed together with metamorphic rock under great pressure and heat. Can anyone explain to me it's formation?
Being a geography student, or what the teacher used to call us the'geologist', I'm keen to learn new things and personally experience what I have learnt in books. (The teacher did sometimes flatter us with the notion that we are young geologist so as to motivate us in a way or another. Anyway I like being called a 'geologist' whahahaha)So that day when I chanced upon this special place called the' National Geogaraphy' at Vivo city, I jumped in with excitement. It combines shopping and museum in to one complex so that when a couple or friends or family go in to this complex, they can choose to do what they like, be it shopping or just look at the fossils and photographs. 
Wa, I'm damn hurt by the umbrella designed byAnton Schnaider...
At chijmes...
At fish&Co....
Rain, Jingxia and Peiyong
Liping,Rain,Agnes,Peiyong
Mengguan still looks like a kid hehe... I just realized he looks cute. Andy is our going-to-be greatest chef in Singapore.
Jia Jia, Rain, Xueqi andAgnes
My dear Jingxia
At Butter factory
Christmas Day is around the corner, Orchard Road has been decorated flourishly. flashy and twinkling lights on trees, light poles and buildings make Orchard splendid and magnificent. I'm so in love with everything... Happiness is all I can feel now=) 
This what he looks like now... After grooming... I feel sorry to Baby coz Mommy is too lazy to help u wash face... Dirty boy.
He's biting his Favourite Toy chicken
Dear Baby,
I love this holiday man! How I wish it could last forever haha... Every day can be a shopping day=) I'm lovin' it
I went to pick Roy up from work again and have dinner together. When I have time I always drive all the way to Bukit Timah and pick up him from work. I hope I could bring some solace to Roy coz he still can't get back his license. Driving is really tiring sometimes, I have to keep my nerve tense at all time otherwise I might fall asleep while driving which is super dangerous. Roy screamed like a cartoon character sometimes while I was driving, he's really cute... There is another cute side of him despite his usual cool self that no one else could ever see but me hee hee hee... 
